giandujakiss: (erikcharles)
giandujakiss ([personal profile] giandujakiss) wrote2016-12-21 09:52 am

Assassin's Creed

is a terrible terrible movie that wastes some amazing actors.

I know literally nothing about the game, which may color my opinion somewhat, but I Wikipedia'ed it after the movie, and ... no, I think this is just yet another reason why games should not be movies.

(To be fair, based on the Wiki game description, I think possibly it could have been a very good movie. This - was not that movie.)

There are so many many things I could talk about - the wooden dialogue and the nonsensical plot and the absolute nonstop fight sequences that replace anything like characterization -seriously, we don't know the first thing about Fassbender's character and he's the hero - but there's just one very specific point that I will single out to criticize.

So the assassins recite their "creed" several times, which includes that nothing is forbidden, they'll do anything to serve their purpose, etc. And as a movie watcher, I expect this creed to - matter. Like, we'll see the assassins live up to it, see the code matter in some way to the plot.

It does not. At all. They say nothing is true? Irrelevant to the plot. They say nothing is forbidden? Not only irrelevant, but flatly contradicted by the plot.

The assassins are protecting a mystical object called the apple of ... - forget it, they're protecting the macguffin. And the macguffin is held by a Sultan, and everyone knows that the bad guys are going to kidnap the Sultan's son and ransom him for the macguffin. The assassins are supposed to stop this.

So the assassins go on this major whirlwind thing about rescuing the son, yadda yadda yadda.

Except - nothing is forbidden? These are people who cut off their fingers for the cause? Why don't they kill the son? If he's dead, he can't be ransomed - he's not leverage.

The fact that they don't, when it would be the most obvious move for ruthless people willing to sacrifice everything for a higher cause - who recite as their motto that they live in the dark - is just this glaring thing hanging out there. Obviously, things are forbidden, there are limits to what they'll do for the cause, and the creed is meaningless. And that's the title of the movie.

So. I got to watch Fassbender and Marion Cotillard be pretty on a large screen. And I'm growing to really appreciate Cotillard because she plays romantic leads and she's over 40. But you're basically paying money to stare at their faces for 2 hours, which might even be worth it, but that's all it is.

I think at some point I have to recognize that Fassbender will never, ever make a movie that appeals to me as much as XMFC.
brownbetty: (Default)

[personal profile] brownbetty 2016-12-21 04:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I was thinking about ass-creed as an alternative to Passengers, which looked moderately terrible *before* I read the reviews, but this doesn't seem like something I'd feel great about paying $13 for.